I came across a rant on my Facebook a few weeks ago. Basically, this person – let’s call her Jessy, was annoyed with the fact that she had to help out a newbie at work. Her rant included a message saying that if newbie wanted all types of extra tips, then newbie had better pay her money in order to get those tips, because nobody had helped Jessy when she just started working. In her comments section, she kept saying, “Why should I help?”
This sort of attitude completely repulses me, because all this does is perpetuate a very negative cycle of un-helpfulness. It reminded me of my university days, when seniors would pick on juniors during orientation because they had been tortured when they themselves were juniors, so they wanted to pass it on to vindicate themselves.
Yes, I think it’s a very easy sort of mentality to fall into. People don’t seem to what to give other people a chance to have an ‘easier way’ of learning or living life. For example, an ex-colleague once told me that you should never help new people, because they’ll take it for granted. In fact, you should allow them to suffer for a while before swooping in to help, when they’re finally frustrated and angry beyond repair. Because then, then they’d appreciate you!
I’m going to disagree to making someone’s life more difficult just because yours was. Whether or not you get appreciation is a different thing, but so many good things happen when you help people. I think people who don’t want to help are extremely small minded- no, tiny minded, because they’re in this mindset that if they help you and you succeed, they don’t look as great or successful, which is a really pathetic kind of thinking.
One thing I’ve noticed about people I really respect and admire, people I truly consider successful, is that they tend to be helpful. I think successful people know that in order to get ahead in life, you’re going to need help, and you’re going to have to help people. They know that there isn’t anyone too small or little to help. They understand that things have a habit of coming back- think of it as karma. Of course, try not to have the motive of ‘Okay, I’m going to do good because I want goodness to come back to me!’. Although if you think about it, if that makes you a more helpful person, then by all means go ahead.
The point is this- if you really don’t like helping people, perhaps you should re-examine the reasons behind it. Is it because you feel superior you know something another person doesn’t? Is it because you don’t want someone else having it easier than you? Is it because you feel threatened that you might not be perceived as intelligent if another person is able to catch up faster than you?
Think of a little squirrel holding onto a nut. It’s haunches are raised protectively, it’s eyes darting back and forth, making sure nobody gets to its nut. If it sees you making any moves, it scampers away as fast as it possibly can.
While squirrels are cute, don’t be that selfish squirrel. Don’t let that nut be the information you have that could benefit someone. Stop taking off the minute someone needs help from you. Stop being small, because that’s just pretty lame.