Nobody likes feeling used. And yet…we sometimes find ourselves in this position. Often, the process of being used is a gradual process. You don’t realize you’re being used at first. If a person is a friend, it’s probably a very normal and genuine desire on your part to want to help him or her out. (If it’s not a normal and genuine desire on your part, then most likely you are the user here!)
A user can be quite the masquerader. I’ve met quite a few user friends, and I was always close with them, blithely oblivious to the fact that I was being used. We traded secrets. We spoke for hours. We got along so well! (Or so I thought). Then I realized, my presence at that point of time was appreciated for other reasons. One user friend wanted me to pay for her all the time. I think we can upgrade her to a User And A Freeloader. She always banked on the fact that she was younger than me, therefore I, as the older person, was obliged to pay. Initially I didn’t mind, but after I paid for the 10th consecutive meal, I had enough! Oh well.
I could go on a long tirade of grievances against these people, but there’s no point. First, I think I have to thank my User Friends for teaching me a good lesson. Some people are only out there to freeload and use you, and it teaches me to be a little bit more aware of what people are like. Second, I think some of these User Friends don’t even realize they are using you. It’s just engrained in their personality. They may not necessarily have a bad or negative intention. It’s just…them.
I was feeling a little jaded with people after having a few nasty experiences. I thought, “OK. I am not going to help anyone anymore. In fact, I am going to go out of my way to be unhelpful, because helping people doesn’t get me anywhere!”
But this is very stupid and shortsighted, and I cannot judge an entire population of humans on a very small sample of bad apples. If I were to really think about it, I also have loads and loads of friends who have helped me so many times. I shall not allow my faith in humanity to be destroyed over a few loser users. Also, I’ve discovered going out of your way to be unhelpful is extremely difficult and tiring and unpleasant to do!
So, now, I’ve made a conscious effort to cut out users in my life. Life is so much more palatable when you don’t have users sapping and draining you of your energy. Be gone, you energy vampires.
If this rant resonated with you, like us on Facebook! If not, tell us how you dealt with YOUR user friends!